If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
