I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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