I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The Olympian is in my bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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