thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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