Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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