stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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