Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
