this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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