i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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