I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
