some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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