My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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