I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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