You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also, beer. Big fan.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize