how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
