Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Randomize