Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
