okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
