we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
