How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
only if we run a train.
done.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize