Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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