So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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