I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
