i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
