I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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