My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.