So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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