so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
