this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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