i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
