My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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