somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
