You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
