Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
