Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize