Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
