cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Can I color on your dick again?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
did you just send me my own nude
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
