The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
