How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
