Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
