He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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