I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
