Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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