i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
