Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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