the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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