where am i from again
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
