it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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