He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
