if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he laminated a picture of his dick.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
