dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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