just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
