Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just gift wrapped bread.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
