But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
