First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
