...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
