its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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