The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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