Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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