A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
