Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
