She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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