I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
