you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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