she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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